you take my hand and drag me head first
by ofmermaidsandmarauders
Summary: James inspires Lily to have one fearless night; a birthday, taylor swift inspired fic for the one and only petals


_But you're just so cool_

 _Run your hands through your hair_

 _Absent-mindedly makin' me want you_

"James, where are we going?" Lily was giggling and squealing as he tugged her hand, sparks shooting out of his wand as he pushed open the portrait. It was late at night and they were bound to get caught by someone, but luckily their titles as heads would save them.

He dropped her hand as soon as they were at the bottom of the stairway of the astronomy tower. She giggled again as she started to run up them, skipping a few two at a time while shouting that she would race him, knowing his long limbs would catch up to her in no time.

Sure enough, he was standing in the doorway, just peering down at her as she joined him. Lily stood a head below him, grinning up at him as his face did the same. "Alright, Evans?" His hand ran through his unruly hair and she wondered how he managed to look so endearing while doing something so simple.

Lily pushed past him and nodded, looking around out of concern. "What was so important you had to pull me up here?" He led her over to the window and pointed up at the night sky, glittered with stars with no lights to block their view. The stars lit up the night sky in a way she had never seen before, never taken the time to notice. "It's so pretty," she whispered, leaning against his side for a moment. His height didn't allow her to lean against him the way she would have liked, but he was sturdy and solid.

James grinned as he squeezed her upper arm, holding her more tightly to his side. "Yeah, that's why I wanted to show you. I know you were talking about how you loved astronomy back when you were a kid but hate divination. I felt like you'd appreciate it." His explanation caused a warmth to spread through her body, starting in the pit of her stomach. Lily couldn't determine why it meant so much to her that he took notice of her words.

"What are we doing looking from up here, then?" She quickly ran down the stairs again, grinning over her shoulder as she saw him running after her, down the halls towards the front door. As she made it to the front doors, Lily skidded to a halt and realized that they would absolutely get in trouble if she pushed them open. She knew the loud noises the doors made and she turned to James for help, biting down on her lower lip.

"Follow me," he whispered, leading her down a side hallway and then pushing a statue aside just enough for them to squeeze through to a tunnel. It was damp and pitch black until James used his wand to light the way. She noticed their fingers were still locked together, but Lily didn't think anything else of it.

"How? You know what… I don't think I want to know," she admitted, laughing as he gave her a mischievous grin while glancing over his shoulder. "What you don't know won't hurt you, Lily."

 _And I don't know how it gets better than this_

 _You take my hand and drag me head first_

 _Fearless_

James led her out of the back door of Honeydukes and she noted almost immediately how quiet Hogsmeade was when it wasn't filled with bustling students trying to stop at any shop they could while also trying to squeeze in time with friends and a romantic date outside of the castle. Hogsmeade served many purposes, but for tonight, it's only job was to be the quiet backdrop for Lily and James' evening adventure. She glanced up at the sky once more as they headed towards the shrieking shack, detouring towards the empty field set beside it.

James plopped down with his back against a tree, running a hand through his hair and not for the first time did Lily wonder what it would be like to actually be with James. It was then that she noticed just how quiet he had been all night. If it were a year ago, she would have thought something was seriously wrong, but now she knew better. James had matured over the past year; he was taking his responsibility seriously and was in turn becoming a more serious student. At this point, Lily had forgotten that they were originally out here to look up at the stars. Instead, she was too focused on looking at the concern set on James' features.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked, to which James just looked confused. "A penny is a coin. It's worth less than a Knut. It just means I'm interested in hearing your thoughts," she explained, watching as the understanding dawned in his eyes.

"Oh. I guess I'm just thinking about how it's nice to have time with you like this. We've been so busy lately. I missed just hanging out with you, Evans." He took in a deep breath through his nose, and Lily watched the way that his chest puffed up. "And graduation is happening in what? A month and a half? It's just scary to think that we'll be leaving shortly, and what have I really done? There's a war going on in the world, and I've just been mucking around my entire life. What am I really doing?" He let his eyes fall shut and Lily felt her heart pounding in her chest as she reached over to grip his hands tightly in her own.

"James, you can't fault yourself for going to school. We were children. We still _are_ children. There's nothing that can be changed about that." In the distance a crack of lightning lit up the sky, causing her to glance over at his features and see him better for only a split second. She smiled up at him when she realized that he was looking at her. "Kids, James. Just kids trying to learn how to be better for this world. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a little fun along the way." She squeezed his fingers until his lips turned up into a small smile of their own.

"Thanks, Lily," James murmured as he just pulled her into his side again, letting his arm fall across her shoulders while allowing his chin to rest on top of her head. Over the past few months, Lily and James had definitely gotten closer, not just emotionally, but also physically. Their little touches were now starting to drive her wild. She just wanted to know what it all meant. Was it just the harmless flirting she had grown accustomed to, or was there _more?_ The thought of more frightened her; they were finally in a good place with one another. Lily and James still fought, but it came from a place of warmth and good spirits. Long gone were the days of arguments and insults spat angrily at him. Lily genuinely enjoyed James' company. A loud burst of thunder had Lily jolting upwards, giggling as her head collided harshly with his chin.

"Sorry," she mumbled, grinning up at him to show she was anything but.

"We should head back," James said in return, already standing and helping her up. She hated to think the moment between them was passed, but it was probably for the best. Lily and James were finally good friends and there was no reason to wreck that.

Despite her previous thoughts, their fingers stayed locked as they walked the dark path back down to Hogsmeade, confused when they walked past Honeydukes. "Don't you want to head back?" she asked, licking her lips.

"There's one more thing I want to show you." That mischievous glint was back in his eyes and Lily couldn't contain her own grin.

 _You put your eyes on me_

 _In this moment now capture it, remember it_

Their walk to the Quidditch pitch was long and filled with extended periods of silence. The thunder and lightning continued, but there were no signs of impending weather, so they continued their slow pace.

James performed a non-verbal spell and a broom suddenly zoomed towards them. Lily's eyebrows shot up and he just blushed, shrugging his shoulders as he held his hand out to catch the offending item.

"C'mon, hop on," he instructed after doing just that, waiting patiently.

"Not going to happen, Potter." Lily crossed her arms, looking at the broom as though it were going to bite her.

"Don't you trust me, Evans?" His typical smirk was back as the broom rose a few inches, his hand still outstretched for her to take hold . Tentatively, Lily reached up and gripped it, allowing him to hold her on the broom so that he was pressed up against her back. The broom surprisingly held both of their weights and she glanced back at him, her eyes giving away just how frightened she was.

"It's our last year and I haven't seen you on a broomstick since they taught us how to ride in our first. So, I needed to amend that, Lily Evans. You deserve to go for a real ride." Even though it was obvious that Lily avoided flying like the plague, James wanted to do something special just for her and she loved that feeling. Before James took off, he instructed her on where to hold her hands so that she could get a feel for guiding the broom. His hands slid on top of hers and she felt goosebumps form on her arms, grateful that she thought to wear a sweater over her nightgown.

"W-whoa!" Lily stammered as the broom lifted from the ground, watching the grass get clearer as the wind started to whip around them a little harder. "James!" she squealed, and in response, his arms tightened around her slightly. "It's okay." His words spoken against her ear caused her to shiver, and she was grateful once more that the cool air could be an excuse for her reaction.

They rode around aimlessly, James teaching her how to maneuver the broom. Although she wasn't going to land as an expert, she had grown more comfortable over their time up in the air and she felt more at ease.

"Alright, Evans?" he asked as she stepped off, a wide grin set on her features. James just smiled softly, watching as she lit up while speaking about how amazing that entire ride was.

"What?" she inquired, after realizing he had been staring for quite some time.

"Nothing, I just never noticed how pretty you look when you get excited. I wanted to remember it."

James grinned as they began their walk back to the castle, hands still locked together. The lightning and thunder must have finally made its way to Hogwarts because a loud crack sounded and the skies opened up. Lily screamed and then started to laugh while James just spun her around to face him.

"James, c'mon!" she yelled, tugging on his hand to try to hurry him back towards the castle.

"Live a little, Lily Evans!" He yelled back, laughing loudly as she did just that, twirling again under the clouds, smiling up at him.

"Dance with me." She placed her hand in his just as he began to properly dance with her, humming a beat that didn't match his steps. It only lasted for a few minutes before the two of them were laughing too loudly to actually accomplish anything, but she appreciated the moment. It was one she'd always remember him by. "Let's head back." James must have agreed, because he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and they turned to start towards the castle, huddled together despite the cool rain still sprinkling down on them.

 _Well, you stood there with me in the doorway_

 _My hands shake_

 _I'm not usually this way_

Despite wanting the night to never end, Lily's yawning had caught up to her and after the third, James suggested they actually make their way inside the castle, not just wander the grounds like Lily had seemed to want to do. Standing just inside of the portrait doorway, he stopped and glanced down at her, a wide smile on his lips.

"What?" she asked, wondering why tonight felt different. It was just the two of them spending time together as usual, but it felt like there was an electric charge surrounding them at all times.

"I just... Thank you for tonight. It was perfect," James said, his arm finally sliding down from her shoulders to just rest by his sides. At this point, Lily felt nervous, like at any moment their friendship would change courses and she was just so unsure of where they were headed. She felt her hands shaking a little as she lifted one to adjust his glasses, watching his grin go. "Thanks."

"I had fun too, James. So, thank you."

Lily turned away, ready to make her way into the girls' dorm, but he stopped her with a hand on her forearm, pulling her back towards him.

She stopped short, biting down on her lower lip as she realized that he looked different. In that split second, something had changed and before she could ask what it was, he was leaning down, eyes slowly closing as his hand slid up to cup her cheek. Lily stood up on her tiptoes, ready to meet him halfway to show that she also wanted this.

Their first kiss and it was flawless. James didn't pull away immediately, causing her smile to grow when he finally did. His free hand had ended up on the small of her back, and her own hands had fallen against his chest, balling his shirt up in her tiny fists.

"Wow, that was really something… Goodnight, Lily Evans," James spoke, grinning before pressing a final kiss to her forehead.

She was speechless for a moment before just nodding and turning away. There would be plenty of time to talk in the morning. For now, she just wanted to remember this feeling in the back of her mind. Lily knew there was a chance that someone had seen them or heard the castle doors open and there would be hell to pay tomorrow.

For now, Lily felt fearless.


End file.
